Guide Getting There: 9 Ways to Help Your Kids Learn What Matters Most in Life

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Not many people made it to college. The networking connections and education were rare and valuable. Now, almost all of that information is readily available. Having an inner score card is more enduring, sustainable, and healthy because life is uncontrollable. It will deal you tough, unfair blows. Money, relationships, and success may come and go at the worst time.

Unfortunately, many Asian parents care too much about what their friends think of their child.

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They have an outer score card. Some will do whatever it takes to get their child to succeed so they can show off to their friends at the cost of building resentment in the child or burn out from stress. They want to show off how accomplished their child is. Carol Dweck wrote a fantastic book on her years of research on fixed versus growth mindset children.

It was so good that even Bill Gates recommended and reviewed the book on social media. The main idea is that children and adults with a growth mindset are the ones who succeed in life. But the beauty is that anyone can change their mindset from fixed to growth once they learn how. Sadly, most Asian parents and their children have rigid perspectives of what is success, an indication of a fixed mindset. Surprisingly, there is little to no correlation between IQ and success.

In fact, some of the highest IQ individuals end up in low-class jobs, like as a janitor. This could be improving your work ethic, emotional intelligence, social intelligence, grit, focus, willpower , and so on.

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This means everything from making sure his or her spouse checks all the metrics they care about good job, listens to directions, etc. Asian parents run away from these entertainment-based jobs and love to cite the stats of how few of these people make it big and how unreliable that career pathway is.

This is a common theme for Indians, Asians, and even Middle Eastern parents. So why do they still cling to these job titles? They worship these jobs because they believe even if that belief is flawed that these jobs are the best for maintaining your income and not losing it for the longest time. But as I mentioned, there is no longer real job security — just your hustle to become irreplaceable and increasingly more valuable.

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Ken Jeong refused to conform to the comments of his coworkers and others when they told him it was too risky to do stand-up comedy on the side even though he was already a full-time doctor. He ignored them and years later, he transitioned his success as a comedian into a role as a profitable full-time actor. Now, he has his own TV show called Dr. They embrace failure and learn from their mistakes.

Not at all.

There is a spectrum of different levels of risk-taking and blindly taking all high-level risks is one of the most stupidest things you can do. Charlie Munger explained this well in the Berkshire Hathaway annual meeting. Charlie explained how ridiculous it would be if we chose not to invent airplanes or start the airline business because we feared that someone may die.


Statistically, you have a much higher chance of death driving a car than riding an airplane. Not all risks are worth pursuing. What successful people often look for are disproportionate opportunities where the risk is low but the reward is huge if it succeeds. The billionaire, Richard Branson, may seem like a crazy risk-taker on the surface based on his personality and news-worthy adventures. For example, when he tested out if the airline business was worth getting into, he struck a deal with Boeing to be able to return all his planes for free if his business failed, thereby eliminating a majority of the investment cost.

Robert Greene wrote in his book Mastery that we tend to glorify or demonize our parents as naive children growing up. But as we grow to adulthood, we realize that they had good parts and bad parts. Nor are they horrible, abusive demons. Asian parents are great at instilling strong work ethic, encouraging a high performance in school, and making sure their child achieves a middle-class first world income with a stable job — something other cultures struggle with. These are just generalizations to keep in mind to prepare for your own success.

How have your parents benefitted and hurt you?

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Let me know in the comments. Yes, I want access to the Mindset Summary and Checklist. Thank you so much for posting these facts. Talking about Asian parents, there are lots of things of talk about pros and cons, positives and negatives, etc. I am not sure whether or not Asian parents aware or acknowledge that us Asian children honor to have these parents because they have sacrificed their entire life for us children regardless they are living in the country or immigrants.

Us Asians are one of the successful people in the world.

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I am proud to be Asian. You are now doctors, pharmacist, etc. On the other hand for the Asian children, we were struggling with mental issue. For instance, myself, I am 30 now. I wanted to be a fashion designer after graduating from high school. My parents, both, are tailors. Naturally, I was walking on the right path.

Unfortunately, NO! My parents forces me to study pre-pharmacy when no one in our families have had a degree in medical field. I was just 18 but I thought a lot about them because I was thinking my parents have sacrifice for me to have a better life by having a good education and profession. I agreed with them and studied pre-pharmacy for 4.

Did I succeed?

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Sadly, no. I got so sick with a migraine from studying these courses, so I had to stop. I understand they love me a lot. They think their choices are the best and the best for them. I am 30 now, but I am still struggling with them because all these years in the USA I have been there eyes, ears, mouth, and legs.

source link Meaning they are non English speakers. Everything is on me. Even the easiest thing which they can manage they wanted me to drop everything and do it for them. Pick one of the three choices, formulate an action plan, and follow through. Evaluate the solution. If the solution is satisfactory, your child will have a sense of accomplishment. Be available to your child to talk about issues or problems arising from a decision, and to encourage and lend support, especially in light of a poor decision.

Making some bad decisions is part of the maturation process.